why do we love to travel?

we love travel because we feel free, we fully experience new and crazy things, and then we feel a l i v e !

we may ask ourselves this question, 'why do i love to travel again?' when our train is 2 hours late, and it's 95 degrees and humid, flies are swarming around your eyelashes and your mouth, and you're sweating and smelly even though you showered a few hours before...

trying new things pushes us to "uncomfortable" experiences...but this discomfort is very much a part of that feeling of aliveness. we crave discomfort because we learn from it, we grow. i sometimes refer to this aliveness as "taking a bite out of life".

the question becomes, how do we "take a bite out of life" when we return back to our g-calendar, our cell phone, our rent payment...? how do we squeeze out that yummy yoga feeling from each class after we've taken a few dozen or maybe a few hundred classes? let's be honest: the first 5-10 yoga classes felt so magical, and now it still feels amazing but not mind-blowing each time. how do we take that bliss away each and every time?

it's up to us. push ourselves. not necessarily at all to levels of physical discomfort - but keep a sharp eye on the mind: focus on something! focus on the breath! we have energy channels running through our body - when do we ever stop to try to feel them? feel the space around your body, feel the energy that your'e emitting, take a moment to cognize the energy that your'e taking in - there is always a deeper level of your practice available to you. i might not be able to see where your mind has gone like i can see that your hip is out of alignment in trikonasana - it is up to you as a practitioner, as a yogi, to take the mind with you throughout your practice. find something new, find a new level, feel a different part of the body - anything to bring your awareness into the here and now...and see how juicy and blissy you can make your practice once more.

the newness is a state of mind.

we begin with the breath.

motivation

what's our motivation for the practice of yoga, a?

i've been re-deliving into some buddhist lectures recorded from my 10-day silent retreat in dharamsala. the nun in it says that the goal of buddhism is not to become happy. it's to become enlightened. yes, very inspiring indeed. but if i'm to accomplish this in 10 lifetimes or less - am i going to have a social life? am i going to have friends? am i ever going to visit my family? will i be there for my mom when she gets old?

i'm sorry, but these things are important to me.

i'm reading this book by Swami Vivekananda called Raja Yoga, and it's super badass. it mentions all of these special powers that a yogi can have, once they harness their subtle mind - like reading other people's mind, walking through walls...wow! exciting, tantalizing, no?

but a 'right' motivation? nuh uh. i don't think so!

i know that the highest goal of yoga is to become enlightened. and yes i want to be a little shining buddha one day. but at the same time, i feel a bit of angst when i think of really, truly 'going for it', and completely shedding this world and the attachment that comes with it.

in the end, i like being happy, when i'm in that place. since i started practicing yoga, i'm in that happy place, santosha, more and more. and that's inspiring for me.

i guess it boils down to: what inspires you? what stirs your blood and makes you bubble inside? what makes you shine, what makes this world a brighter place?

today, i vote for inspiration over obligation...

here's to it!

...as follows...

and one more nugget

"Desire, when grounded in Universal, is life-affirming and positive."

i think that even patanjali would have to agree with that one. it answers my ever-lingering about the imperfection of the tantra philosophy. why celebrate the ego? sure it's funner and more joyous and you spread more joy in the world (hmm = all solid reasons in fact) - but it's such a slippery slope, that gosh-darned ego. and it always bites you in the end!

but this quote has a caveat...the caveat! root your desire in the Universal, in Shiva, in the Love and Truth that this world is. it's the same same but different: Patanjali says to tell your ego to f*ck itself - focus instead on the Divine and shed that f*cker.

word.

but then here comes this tantric philosophy - ok to have desire, just root it in the Universal - thereby shedding your selfish wants and needs, plugging in to something greater - and voila! you've tricked the aspirant into shedding the ego, living for the greater good.

although one cannot truthfully say "just" root desire in the Universal - it is still a discipline to constantly turn your attention to something greater. but ranks high in the gamut of rewarding habits. for sheezey.

and just one more - you still run into the "problem" they warn you about in the sutras ("they" = Patanjali), which is once we achieve union with the divine, the Very Good Little Yogi doesn't even have attachment to that, and to be vigilant b/c once you start getting super special powers you damn well better be a Very Good Little Yogi. better not get attached to how awesome you are, all close up to the Divine and sh*t. [sorry for the cussing, ab, but it's tantrika ;]

ok ok i go, with just one wee reminder of another time/space that was all tantra, all the time:

........

friday night is the new monday night

what better to do on a friday night than stay in and rediscover my yoga teacher training notebook from anusara immersion iii in 2007? at the middle age of thirty-one, my friday nights invariably consist of staying home in my sweatpants...seems more like a monday, and i'll reckon that's how it should be.

i came across my quiz - questions like: what does kidney loop do in plank pose? my answer: counters the tendency of the mid-back sag, and keeps energy flowing through the body. could one not argue, dear beard, that kidney loop HOLDS THAT SHIT TOGETHER? i mean take kidney loop away from your plank pose and we've got a belly that pokes down, a cow pose in plank pose (it makes me cringe, and slightly nauseated to be frank). your arm bones grinding on their socket joints. dumping into the lower back with no support from said arms...head likely crunching into the neck.

yeck! no more of this imaginary (but unfortunately not imaginary enough) scenario. bring back the kidney loop - and voila! a full and hearty back body, well positioned to base the shoulders - give some lift to the back body so that the shoulders can tip in and allow the heart to melt with fullness instead of sogginess. [i'm not sure if we have any followers anymore, but if we do: i'm sorry, this likely sounds like maniacal drivel, which, i don't deny, it kind of is ;]

and then of course we have our friendly pelvic loop - which may really be the centerpointe of it all, and it probably is. but the kidney loop in plank is unsung! two indianan cents would be appreciated :)

the vip

back from vipassana. gotta love the buddhists- their philosophy of life
and the human experience layed out so neatly, a solid structure to
flow within. my mind is calm.

upon my return, i was getting something in the garage, when i spotted
a serenity prayer picture, hanging the window. again, a homemade thing,
this time with with purple silk hydrangea flowers hot glued onto the frame.

i think i found it out there in the meditation center, a few moments of inner peace.

luv ya,

ab

p.s. your recent gratitude picks are much to my liking. big gratitude!

gracious

oh wow, you're heading to vipassana?! "enjoy" in some sense of that term. you will benefit hugely.

i missed a day b/c i didn't have the internet yesterday, so...:

1. days without the internet, stellar slow-downs
2. carrot juice, fresh-squozen yumminess
3. friends getting rid of things that you can use
4. recycling anything ever
5. plants: roots, stems, leaves, and life...so beautiful
6. the cooing of the dove outside that calls me to meditate and to remind me of home (is this a double? if so i'm ok with being doubly thankful for that little guy ;)
7. chocolate chip cookies
8. overcast days that say, 'stay inside and get things done, and while you're at it, relax a little.'
9. avocados.
10. summer tans and the smell of sunscreen
11. surprise visits to a partner, anticipation is a fun little ride