i've been re-deliving into some buddhist lectures recorded from my 10-day silent retreat in dharamsala. the nun in it says that the goal of buddhism is not to become happy. it's to become enlightened. yes, very inspiring indeed. but if i'm to accomplish this in 10 lifetimes or less - am i going to have a social life? am i going to have friends? am i ever going to visit my family? will i be there for my mom when she gets old?
i'm sorry, but these things are important to me.
i'm reading this book by Swami Vivekananda called Raja Yoga, and it's super badass. it mentions all of these special powers that a yogi can have, once they harness their subtle mind - like reading other people's mind, walking through walls...wow! exciting, tantalizing, no?
but a 'right' motivation? nuh uh. i don't think so!
i know that the highest goal of yoga is to become enlightened. and yes i want to be a little shining buddha one day. but at the same time, i feel a bit of angst when i think of really, truly 'going for it', and completely shedding this world and the attachment that comes with it.
in the end, i like being happy, when i'm in that place. since i started practicing yoga, i'm in that happy place, santosha, more and more. and that's inspiring for me.
i guess it boils down to: what inspires you? what stirs your blood and makes you bubble inside? what makes you shine, what makes this world a brighter place?
today, i vote for inspiration over obligation...
here's to it!
