and one more nugget

"Desire, when grounded in Universal, is life-affirming and positive."

i think that even patanjali would have to agree with that one. it answers my ever-lingering about the imperfection of the tantra philosophy. why celebrate the ego? sure it's funner and more joyous and you spread more joy in the world (hmm = all solid reasons in fact) - but it's such a slippery slope, that gosh-darned ego. and it always bites you in the end!

but this quote has a caveat...the caveat! root your desire in the Universal, in Shiva, in the Love and Truth that this world is. it's the same same but different: Patanjali says to tell your ego to f*ck itself - focus instead on the Divine and shed that f*cker.

word.

but then here comes this tantric philosophy - ok to have desire, just root it in the Universal - thereby shedding your selfish wants and needs, plugging in to something greater - and voila! you've tricked the aspirant into shedding the ego, living for the greater good.

although one cannot truthfully say "just" root desire in the Universal - it is still a discipline to constantly turn your attention to something greater. but ranks high in the gamut of rewarding habits. for sheezey.

and just one more - you still run into the "problem" they warn you about in the sutras ("they" = Patanjali), which is once we achieve union with the divine, the Very Good Little Yogi doesn't even have attachment to that, and to be vigilant b/c once you start getting super special powers you damn well better be a Very Good Little Yogi. better not get attached to how awesome you are, all close up to the Divine and sh*t. [sorry for the cussing, ab, but it's tantrika ;]

ok ok i go, with just one wee reminder of another time/space that was all tantra, all the time:

........

friday night is the new monday night

what better to do on a friday night than stay in and rediscover my yoga teacher training notebook from anusara immersion iii in 2007? at the middle age of thirty-one, my friday nights invariably consist of staying home in my sweatpants...seems more like a monday, and i'll reckon that's how it should be.

i came across my quiz - questions like: what does kidney loop do in plank pose? my answer: counters the tendency of the mid-back sag, and keeps energy flowing through the body. could one not argue, dear beard, that kidney loop HOLDS THAT SHIT TOGETHER? i mean take kidney loop away from your plank pose and we've got a belly that pokes down, a cow pose in plank pose (it makes me cringe, and slightly nauseated to be frank). your arm bones grinding on their socket joints. dumping into the lower back with no support from said arms...head likely crunching into the neck.

yeck! no more of this imaginary (but unfortunately not imaginary enough) scenario. bring back the kidney loop - and voila! a full and hearty back body, well positioned to base the shoulders - give some lift to the back body so that the shoulders can tip in and allow the heart to melt with fullness instead of sogginess. [i'm not sure if we have any followers anymore, but if we do: i'm sorry, this likely sounds like maniacal drivel, which, i don't deny, it kind of is ;]

and then of course we have our friendly pelvic loop - which may really be the centerpointe of it all, and it probably is. but the kidney loop in plank is unsung! two indianan cents would be appreciated :)

the vip

back from vipassana. gotta love the buddhists- their philosophy of life
and the human experience layed out so neatly, a solid structure to
flow within. my mind is calm.

upon my return, i was getting something in the garage, when i spotted
a serenity prayer picture, hanging the window. again, a homemade thing,
this time with with purple silk hydrangea flowers hot glued onto the frame.

i think i found it out there in the meditation center, a few moments of inner peace.

luv ya,

ab

p.s. your recent gratitude picks are much to my liking. big gratitude!

gracious

oh wow, you're heading to vipassana?! "enjoy" in some sense of that term. you will benefit hugely.

i missed a day b/c i didn't have the internet yesterday, so...:

1. days without the internet, stellar slow-downs
2. carrot juice, fresh-squozen yumminess
3. friends getting rid of things that you can use
4. recycling anything ever
5. plants: roots, stems, leaves, and life...so beautiful
6. the cooing of the dove outside that calls me to meditate and to remind me of home (is this a double? if so i'm ok with being doubly thankful for that little guy ;)
7. chocolate chip cookies
8. overcast days that say, 'stay inside and get things done, and while you're at it, relax a little.'
9. avocados.
10. summer tans and the smell of sunscreen
11. surprise visits to a partner, anticipation is a fun little ride

au revoir

ecstatic gratitude listing

1. dream appearance by the dalai lama! like, really
2. surprise 'clarity thai massage', clearing up some energy lines and bubbles of clarity rising in the ajna chakra
3. delicious little michigan plum from aunt pat this a.m.
4. roadtrips
5. fresh starts
6. spontaneous storytelling
7. healing
8. beautiful memories
9. a murder of crows cackling out a good time
10. heading now to vipassana!!!

take care dear one.

xo

gratitude practice

1. Forgiveness of self or another. Forgiveness from another.

2. Constant golden retriever love.

3. Full-body immersion in freshwater lake- the particular purity and softness of freshwater.

4. Thai massage! An experienced thai practitioner goddess that gets to the bottom of long lingering issues in my friend's body.

5. Serendipity!

6. Knees...bring us forward with each step.

7. When "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night" comes on the radio

8. Indiana sweet corn, nature's beautiful variations in its alternating white and yellow kernels

9. The asanas that challenge deeply everyday and the instant reward of embracing the sensation as it is

10. Earplugs...granting quiet sleep almost anywhere

dix choses

today, i am grateful for:

1. this little button on blogger that you can just 1, 2, 3 bullet points
2. index fingers. was chatting with a gal last night about this blog - being grateful for the thumb. she shared an unfortunate index finger manicure experience, and index fingers are important too!
3. the wind, particularly as i was strolling by a cat-litter-box-filled trashcan, and the breeze came by to alleviate that situation.
4. dolphins. they have inspired me since age 7, and they inspire me to go surfing all the time. when i think of the possibility of seeing a dolphin in the ocean, i get my butt out there and get thrashed in ma blue, and it's always the ass-kicking and refresher that the doctor ordered.
5. surfing! wow that's good fun, even though i'm...still in a beginner's mind...and body!
6. raunchniness. where would we be, ab, without it? even purity begs a balance.
7. french bulldogs! holy cuteness! have you seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0-Sv6YnxEc
8. youtube! how else could we share french bulldogs can't roll over? global community come together!
9. japan, for their refined culture, manners, politesse, and healthy diet. fuji apples for dessert?! not quite there yet, but i'll letchya know...
10. morning doves cooing. their call reminds me of home, and of the place i stayed for vipassana meditation...always a call to sit, breathe, and be.